The first time I saw him

It was 1984. It was one year after I graduated high school. I was still very insecure, had low self esteem, and willing to do almost anything to "fit in". I'd already had one steady relationship break up and get back together and break up again. I was convinced he was the only one for me and I'd never be loved again. What is it about 19 year old girls and this attitude? I was still living in my friend Wendy's house, but not nanny-ing her 2 boys anymore. I was paying her rent, buying my own food, and working a crappy paper pushing minimum wage job on the other side of town. This meant I had to ride my bicycle or walk 40 minutes to get to work. Not fun, but it felt great to be fairly independent.

One summer evening, I was chillin on the front porch and Wendy brought home this guy with the most piercing blue eyes I'd ever seen. She'd picked him up hitchhiking (I know!) and brought him home for dinner or something. He introduced himself and I was thinking Wow! But Keith was with Wendy, so I just admired the view.

Shortly, Keith moved in with Wendy. I had meantime met Scott (Keith's younger brother) and we were getting along great. Wendy and I weren't talking very much back then, so I didn't know exactly what went on, but they broke up and she kicked him out within about 4 or 5 weeks. Meanwhile, she was moving out of the big house on Manor Street and I had to find a new abode. Wendy actually talked me into asking Scott to get an apartment with me. I realize now that I was NO where near ready for that. We'd only known each other for about 2 months! Anyway, I was still trying to do the "fitting in" thing, so we got a tiny apartment together. I don't really know where Keith went for the next year or so.

This is what I was supposed to be blogging about in the first place

This is the blog where I will finally get my experience with my first husband out of my head. I feel like I NEED to do this to be at peace with the whole thing, and to possibly help others who are in similar situations.